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let it go

You see this thing here?

DH bag

The final relic.


It’s a bag.

To be more specific, it’s a light blocking bag for storing test strips.It came from the pharmacy of Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center, on March 8, 2011.  Two days after Madeline was diagnosed with T1D.

And to get to the point: it’s the last thing. The last physical relic I have from that time, when we were in the hospital, our heads spinning, our fears suffocating, our lives changing.

A few days ago, when I was preparing Madeline’s pump for a set change, it dawned on me that I did not need this bag anymore. We run through test strips like water; ain’t no box sticking around here long enough to get light exposed and ruined.

Why, then, was I keeping it?

I realized that the force binding me to that bag is that it is the last tangible object I have from that time.

I don’t need it anymore. It doesn’t carry a practical use for me. It doesn’t hold an emotional use, either.

Goodbye, Bag.



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